The best wedding advice always comes from an experienced bride! Meet our guest blogger Priyanka who had the most phenomenal destination wedding in India. Read up on how she kept her wedding stress-free!
In the weeks and days leading up to my wedding, I had lots of friends wishing me well and giving me the same piece of advice: just enjoy yourself, it goes by so fast! Perhaps I was silly not to ask, but nobody told me HOW to do that- just that I should. I didn’t come up with a plan ahead of time, but here are a few things that helped me be totally-stress free, and very present during our three-day destination wedding celebration (which was less month ago, so TRUST ME):
Get yourself a wedding planner
Yes, it costs money. But it’s probably the most well-spent money in your whole wedding. If it leaves you stress free, how could it not be worth it? Communicate frequently and articulate your ideas well during the planning process. But on the days of the wedding, and ideally even 2-5 days before, let go and leave it to them. Delegating tasks to family and friends is great, and gets people involved, but remember, they also want to be a part of the wedding. Having a planner who is not emotionally invested is extremely useful. Delegate only to family and friends who have few or no other responsibilities – no cooking to care of, no babies to feed.
Just let go
Trust me when I say you should trust yourself. You have spent a lot of energy and time planning – whether 6 months (like me) or 18 months, planning a wedding is consuming. But trust that you have done a good job and hand it all over a few days before, to the planner. Do your part by making sure they have all of the information they will need, and know all of the people who might be involved (your mum for rituals, the uncle with all the vendors’ cheques). Worrying about details a few days before the wedding is pointless – there will be very little you can change anyway, and you will cause yourself unnecessary stress. If you’re having to fight your mum about something at this point – stop. She’s going to get it her way. The sooner you accept that, the faster you can move on, and the more relaxed you can be. When your cousin comes asking you a question about what time the photographer is supposed to arrive, point her to your planner and move forward. Don’t worry about finding her the planner yourself.
Stay hydrated
Every time I sat to get my makeup done, I had a bottle of water with me, which I sipped throughout my getting ready time. It helped keep my skin looking fresh, I didn’t feel or look tired, and it made me feel in control. You’ll be running around at all other times, so use your getting ready time to hydrate (any other time is a bonus!) Oh and of course when you’re sipping on those adult beverages, make sure to balance with some water too, especially at pre-wedding functions. Yes, you want to have a great time tonight, but you also want to wake up looking and feeling refreshed for the next day’s events.
Surround yourself with positive energy
I got married in India, and three of my best friends flew across the world to be there for my big day. I was so worried that I wouldn’t be able to spend time with them because we all know you get pulled in 10 different directions as a bride. I had them (and no one else) hang out with me while I got my makeup done, and it was the best time we spent together! That way I didn’t feel guilty if I only saw them briefly at the events, but more importantly, they were just so genuinely happy to be there for me, their positivity was contagious and relaxing. I just enjoyed their company, recounted old embarrassing stories and forgot about everything else wedding-related. Now this also worked for me because I had a huge room, a destination wedding, and number 1 above all else – a wedding planner. I do also recognize that for many brides, having too many people around can be overwhelming and frustrating, so if that’s your position, make it known. Do not hesitate to tell people that you just need some alone- time as you get ready. They will either understand and respect you, or be upset, but guess what? You’ll be relaxed! The bottom line, STAY POSTIVE
Eat!
At our cocktail party to celebrate our engagement we didn’t have a single bite to eat and felt awful every time someone told us how amazing the food was. We decided that at the wedding, we were going to taste everything, even if just one bite, and am I glad we did! In our case, we were lucky to have waiters bringing us everything, but find a friend, uncle or cousin to bring you a little bit of everything. You’ll be happy you did – after all, you spent so much time doing tastings and debating the menu. At our reception people kept calling us, and I politely said, “We just sat down to eat, give us a few minutes we will join you right away.” It might feel like you are missing out, or some might even consider it rude, but not only are you enjoying the good food, you are also giving yourself much-needed energy and a moment to breathe. Sitting and eating gave us a moment to look around, appreciate the venue, admire the décor, notice the funny dancing, comment on the gorgeous outfits, and have a moment together. It allowed us to just be present, and “enjoy ourselves” as everyone had recommended. So many pros to just getting a little bit of food in your belly!
Pick a time to greet your guests
Greeting your guests at some point in your wedding is important. I have resented many couples for not doing so at their weddings. While I understand it’s difficult, I can guarantee it’s not impossible. It gets tricky when dad wants to introduce you to his business partner, and mum wants you to meet her cousin thrice removed and your friends are calling you for shots. You feel like you saw everyone but met no one. And there’s no avoiding this. But, if you designate a time or event – perhaps welcoming everyone at the pre-wedding event or going around to tables during the dinner- whatever works for you and your event, the less resentful you’ll be, and the more time you’ll have to go take those group shots and pictures. We greeted everyone as they arrived at the Garba (second day of pre-events), which totally freed us up the night of the reception.
Remember this is about you, your partner and your love. Not the white flowers that were supposed to be off-white.
Don’t focus so much on the flowers being the wrong color, or the fabric being draped wrong, that you lose the big picture. Yes, I definitely sat in my mandap and thought, we discussed roses, where are they? But, I just smiled and looked at my groom and thought, wow, we have worked eight years to get to this day, who cares about the roses! It’s definitely frustrating because you have explained it 3 times and had them write it and explain it back. Don’t let the frustrations get the better of you during the important moments (go back and discuss with your vendors after the wedding – or you’ll be over it and it won’t matter anymore). A wedding is a day, but a marriage is a lifetime. Remember that as you plan and as you go through celebrations. Yes, you want it to be beautiful, but you don’t want to have huge fights in the process, or be upset on the day of your wedding for something you KNOW is truly insignificant in the bigger picture.
Guest Blogger
Priyanka
Photograph: OOTTUM FINE PHOTOGRAPHY
theultimateaffair.wordpress.com 